“She Doesn’t Look a Certain Way”
In the previous chapter, Moore painted a picture of insecurity with a broad brush. In Chapter 3, the brush becomes a little finer. I’ve peeked ahead to the next chapter and found that Moore pinpoints specific people in scripture who she says exhibit classic cases of insecurity; she is honing in. But in this chapter (3), Moore continues describing insecurity for us, lest any reader think she is immune.
Moore offers a lot of wisdom in this chapter. She encourages us to not look at other women and assume that they’re secure because they have x, y, or z. In an effort to be “refreshingly bull-free,” Moore offers a few glimpses into her heart and her relationships, and in the process, offers us some truth:
1) “Beware of appearances.”
2) “We are flawed people with flawed hearts.”
3) “For every person who likes [us], there’s another person who doesn’t.”
4) “Making assumptions about who struggles with insecurity and who doesn’t based on what they appear to have going for them suggests how little we understand the nature of insecurity and what feeds it.”
5) The way to “deal with insecurity [is to believe] that everything God says about us is true.”
6) “Security in any earthly thing simply cannot be sustained.”
And she gets into all of our heads with this:
7) “Don’t miss one of the chief purposes of this chapter: Be careful who you covet. Be careful how you judge. Be slow to size somebody up and think you know all about her type. She’s not so different from you. Nobody’s unbreakable here on this planet. Only the dead don’t bleed when they’re cut. We all fear we aren’t who we are pretending to be. The more careful we are about what we’re projecting, the more driven we tend to be by fear.”
She doesn’t list them like that; I picked them out from various places throughout the chapter. Some times Beth is right on, but other times, like the rest of us, she’s just wrong. And I think she starts stepping in the wrong direction in this chapter.
The main point to take away from this chapter is that insecurity can yield a false positive. As it relates to insecurity, a false positive is the “one thing that we think would make us more secure in all things.” (author’s emphasis)
Ultimately, though we think it will fix what ails us, the false positive will not make us more secure. But it does point out where our insecurities lie.
There’s another phrase that came to mind as I read Moore’s explanation of a false positive. A more accurate phrase for what she describes as a false positive is false god. The one thing that would make you more secure in all things is your false god, your idol. That one thing you want more than anything. It occupies your mind. It drives your thinking, emotions, decisions, your very life. Beth writes, “It’s an emotional thing.” But she’s wrong: it’s a spiritual thing.
What is your one thing? Your one desire? Your “precious?” (To quote one of my favorite stories.) What do you believe will bring you happiness? What are you willing to do or give up in order to have your one thing? Is your thing a certain career? Children? To be a size 4? A fit body? Blond hair? Plumper lips? A certain kind of man? What is one thing that, when you see another woman who has it, causes you to be jealous and hate (is “hate” too strong?) her for having it? Those desires may point out what feeds your insecurities (according to Moore), but they also point out what things are functioning as idols in your heart.
Moore never calls our actions that come as a result of our insecurities sin. Instead, it’s an “emotional problem” resulting from our wounded selves; “an injured soul is the problem.”
Moore has misdiagnosed the problem; therefore, I anticipate that her remedy (when she finally gets around to sharing it) is going to do more harm than good.
Chapter 4 tomorrow.