Chapter 11, the second of three chapters that focus on women’s relationships with men, flips Chapter 10. While Chapter 10 emphasizes that women ought not make men out to be gods nor devils, Chapter 11 focuses on how women have to stop playing God and/or the devil to the men in their lives. According to Moore, there is a secure woman living inside all of us, and this section of the book is going to show us how to let her out. But first, women have to determine that they will no long play God or the devil with the men in their lives.
On Playing the Devil
According to Moore, women primarily use their sensuality to ruin men; she does not discuss other methods. She shares a little of her personal experience from her younger years when she says she played the devil: “I just liked to see if he was interested in me. Once I got my answer, the game was over. Just knowing I could have him if I wanted him was enough.”
Regarding demons and believers, Moore’s believes, “Women who have received Christ are sealed by God, inhabited by the Holy Spirit, and can’t be possessed by demons.” However, Moore explains that women can be used by Satan to attack men. Women, she writes, “can still run their [demons] errands.” She continues, “Of course, it’s the devil who is ultimately scheming to destroy godly men, but he’s particularly adept at enlisting female puppets to play his part.”
More: “Nothing brings out the rebellion in a woman like a man who’s trying to be righteous. And vice versa.”
So, women need to be aware of when they are manipulating men for evil ends, and stop doing that.
On Playing God
Moore writes, “Women who struggle with insecurity are particularly taken with two divine attributes: omnipotence and omniscience.”
“An insecure person’s greatest need for control is directed toward those who have the most potential to either threaten her security or strengthen it.”
As with the portion of this chapter on playing the devil, her primary source of information on playing God is her own experience. She shares some specific ways she tried to play God for her husband, Keith, and admits that her attempts to control him were not good for her marriage.
“The second divine attribute that insecure people find most appealing is omniscience: that ability to know it all and see it all.” This portion of the chapter includes the disturbing story of one of Moore’s friends who broke into an ex-fiance’s email account and read his emails without his knowledge. Moore likens her friend’s behavior to Eve’s eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Like Eve, she wanted God’s knowledge of the situation and crossed the line.
She goes on to offer more examples of ways insecure women try to be omniscient:
1) We can insist on knowing more about our mate’s past relationships than we end up being able to handle.
2) We can discover a pornographic Web site our mate has visited and then stay on it.
3) We can go beyond the bounds of sound doctrine on demonology and open a door to the occult.
Moore encourages her readers to seek knowledge and understanding in the light, rather than through dark means (evil means). She goes on, “Perhaps you’ve already opened Pandora’s box, and tucked inside was a bomb that blew your security to bits…The healing of the mind requires far more intimacy with Christ than the healing of mere bodies…Start right now. Tell Him what keeps haunting you. Ask Him to grant you His own words to recite the moment you replay those old conversations and images. The take all that insatiable desire to delve into the unknown and focus it right on His face.”
My thoughts on this chapter:
First of all, I do not dispute that Satan and demons are active in this world. I agree with Moore that Christians cannot be possessed by a demon or demons. I disagree, however, that Christians can be the unwitting victims of demonic activity, that we can be used without our knowledge in Satan’s goal of destroying godly men. Through the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit, Christians CAN resist evil and the temptation to sin. “Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world” (1 John 4:4). No, the devil cannot take possession of us who are sealed by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30), but we still sin; we do not live sinless lives from the moment of regeneration til our deaths. It is when we do not resist and fight the sin in our lives that we give the devil the opportunity to gain a foothold. It is through our sin that Satan gets to us; we are not victims.
It would have been helpful for Moore to discuss repentance, how to fight sin and kill it, and how to walk closely with Jesus, how to walk in the Spirit.
Also, I think it would have been helpful to discuss whether or not she thought manipulative women ought to apologize to the men in their lives. Would she tell the woman who hacked into her ex-fiance’s email to confess and ask forgiveness? Or would that cause more harm than good? Should the wife who has tried to control her husband confess and ask for her husband’s forgiveness? What about the wife who’s been a thorn in the side of her godly husband? What should she do?
I’m not saying I know the answers to those questions. But I think Scripture is clear about how to reconcile with our brothers against whom we have sinned. However, sometimes, if the offended doesn’t know he’s been sinned against, isn’t it better to not tell them? To confess to Jesus and repent instead of upsetting the relationship?