On the Living Proof Blog, Moore asked for male readers to answer two questions. The first question was featured in chapter 10. Chapter 12 features their answers to the second question:
“What is the most common way you notice insecurity in women?”
The number 1 area in which the respondents claim to notice a woman’s insecurity is appearance. Insecurity becomes glaringly obvious to men when they hear women compare themselves to one another. When a woman shows her cleavage is also an indicator of her insecurity, according to the men. Other behaviors that indicate to men that a woman is insecure: talking too much, irrational jealousies, full-blown emotional episodes, an obsession with what people think, and an insatiable need for affirmation.
Moore goes on to share just how much our displays of insecurity, writing, “Men are repelled by open displays of female insecurity…After months of research, I’m convinced that men are indeed more intrigued by a confident woman who carries herself well and knows who she is than a picture-perfect beauty who seems little more than that.”
She ends the chapter with this encouraging word: “The only definitive and enduring motivation for a true transformation in our security will be God Himself. The Creator of heaven and earth assigned us dignity and immeasurable value, and only when we finally accept those inalienable truths will we discover authentic security…Insecurities do not attract. They repel. They do not invite intimacy. They invite uncertainty. They do not work for us on any level at all, except to open our hearts and minds to the healing, securing strength of Christ.”
What I didn’t appreciate from her male respondents was their attitude towards women. There is an obvious double-standard when it comes to their desire to interact with secure women and their encouragement for us to display a little (or a lot of) skin, thus showing ourselves to be insecure.
There isn’t any scripture referenced in this chapter and most of what Moore has to say is all subjective and circumstantial. The monotonous drumming of physical appearance and culture being such a problem for women is making me tired, but, other than that, this chapter was interesting.